When a relationship is over we use to tell ourselves: “I don’t miss him, I swear!” But most of the times we cannot keep our promise, because we still miss something.
We just keep the illusion that if we repeat these words enough, it’ll be true!
But we finally have to make a choice: we move on to better or remain stuck in a vicious cycle of depression. I chose moving on. Mostly.
I don’t miss him. And I don’t lie. But there’s something which is blocking me from moving on completely with my life. I’m hung up on the relationship.
I can’t even say I miss the relationship itself; all the fighting, lies and fakeness it entailed was awful! But what I miss is that special connection.
As much as I hate to admit, there was a connection. I miss the feeling of being comfortable with myself! I miss someone I didn’t have to pretend for. Someone I didn’t find myself feeling awkward or weird around. A person who got me; a person who knew who I was and everything there was to know about me. I want that again.
A deep connection with someone is so rare; that’s the beauty of it. We long for that feeling with another person so badly, when we finally come across it, we eventually take it for granted, well, until it’s gone. Then we are left to long and want for it again.
That’s what I really miss! The connection with another person; it’s as simple as that. I’m not a person who pretends to be someone else, but I sometimes hold back on who I really am. Who doesn’t love that feeling of not overthinking how you’re acting out in public?
You know how two puzzle pieces fit together just right, and you can’t force any other pieces in that puzzle together? That’s what we are! We are puzzle pieces in a sea of billions of pieces, trying to find that one missing piece to complete the puzzle.
That’s what we do: we search to find the missing connection in our life! Our missing piece. But you don’t have to force yourself to connect with anyone who isn’t your missing piece, that puzzle would not be completed if you do so!